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J&PR Book Club - Confident and Killing It
16 Dec 2022
by Freya Morris

If you’ve ever wondered what it’s like to have an unshakeable self-belief, our latest book club read is for you!

Confident and Killing It: A Practical Guide to Overcoming Fear and Unlocking Your Most Empowered Self by Tiwalola Ogunlesi was third on our reading list this year after the digital team witnessed the motivational aura of Tiwalola first-hand at a Future Digital Fest webinar series held by Digital Women earlier this year.

Are you being your most authentic self?

The first chapter of the book jumped straight into identifying whether you’re being honest with your true nature - highlighting the fact you can’t change something you haven’t even acknowledged in the first place.

“Authenticity is about being brave enough to be yourself and genuine enough to live according to your values.”

Tiwalola goes on to explain that understanding how your surroundings have shaped you is the first step to becoming who you truly are. If you’re not happy with the life you have now, you can create a new version that works for you - a version based on your truth. 

You’re more capable than you think

Just because you know how to do something doesn’t mean you can actually do it, but that’s okay because everything you don’t know can be learned, and whatever you can’t do can be developed.

“Knowledge and capability are not the same thing.”

For example some people don’t know how to ride a bike, but that doesn’t mean they aren’t capable of it. 

The same goes for playing an instrument, or driving a car. Just because you don’t know how to do it right now doesn’t mean you’ll never be able to do it. All you need is time, confidence, and determination.

What does being confident mean?

Hands up if you’ve ever been too afraid to apply for a new job, or jump into a conversation on a topic you know plenty about, but know nothing about the people who are having it.

If this sounds relatable, you’re not alone.

“Confidence isn’t the absence of fear , confidence is feeling the fear but doing it anyway.”

Fortunately, Tiwalola teaches you that acknowledging the fear you have allows you to work through it, helping you get to where you want to be, and isn’t that pretty fantastic?

Our favourite bits


“Failure is an event. It’s something that happens to you, it’s not who you are.”


“It isn’t just about being the loudest in the room, it’s about showing up with an energy that says I know who I am, I trust in my abilities and I deserve to be here.”

Freya R

"You'll still face challenges, but the majority of the time you should be moving with a sense of peace and gratitude." 

Freya M

 “What happens to you, who you are, and how you feel are three separate things. You are not your past and you are not your feelings.”

Next, we’ll be reading a variety of books, handpicked by members of the group for each other based on personal interests. Watch this space to see how we get on…